Life is normal...ish

I am aware it has been a while since an update. But things are pretty stellar around here. My mom arrived on the 24th. Chris graduated from ALC (as distinguished honor grad), I had Becket, and life is getting back to normal. I will write out the birth story soon...I still need to write out Simon's...oops (this is why I don't do baby books...the commitment).

I will start by saying I'm aware I'm kind of crazy.  Ok that's out of the way. After each delivery I have this period of time where I mourn not being pregnant anymore.  Mourn might be too strong of a word. Understand, I'm also glad that I'm no longer pregnant. But I do have a bit of sadness about it all.  For nine months i was defined as pregnant and with one final push I'm no longer pregnant.  It's like a weird identity crisis or something....I warned you I'm crazy.

Anyway on the plus side of not being pregnant, I'm sleeping better, have more energy,  and moving better. Still some healing going on, but overall I feel better than I did a few weeks ago.

Plus!!! I have a scrumptious new baby to snuggle and love. The siblings love him too. I would say they love him too much if that was possible...especially his sister.

P.S. I did pray for anyone who messaged me a request. And have continued to pray for you guys.

I have attempted to start schooling again, but it's been tough with Chris home. For me...he's a distraction. A good distraction. I think we needed some family time since he had been gone for two months and we added Becket.  I'm trying not to fret. I plan on schooling year round, and we will be snowed in soon enough to "catch up". Next week I have at least three appointments, but I think we can start getting our grove back. We are going apple picking as a field trip...we're living our education...kinda.

Well if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you probably have seen most of the following pictures.  But in my humble opinion these faces need more than one look. Amiright?

Happy October, interweb!

Help me out!

Still pregnant.  I wouldn't mind having this baby on St. Padre Pio's feast day, but it doesnt seem like that is going to happen. I am becoming more and more miserable so I'm sure he will be here soon...or not. I'm really trying not to speculate.  Trying...

Suggested by someone much smarter than myself (hi Jenna), I should offer up prayers while in labor with Simon. For each contraction offer up my suffering for someone else. Redemptive suffering y'all...genius! I did. And it made the whole process better. I almost forgot that I want to do the same thing while laboring Becket!  So send me your intentions. Leave them in the comments, on my Facebook,  private message, text me, or email me (nmlock1075 at gmail).

I'm starting a list. Please, please do not hesitate (even if you don't know me in real life) I would love to pray for you...and I pray for some really silly things sometimes (ok most of the time) so all prayers are welcome. I'll be waiting and baby cooking :)

Little bit of an update.

Seriously, this has to be my fifth or sixth attempt to post an update about things here in the land. But it probably spared you lots of annoying,  whiny details of this last month of pregnancy without our strongest link.  I'm not promising that I will spare you in this post, but I will promise to try...maybe.

August always drags so much...and it often drags in September too.  Every other year I tend to be pregnant.  And Chris always manages to be away for training or something. This time has been the longest absence.  It was also through my ninth month of pregnancy.  I have more children to care for too. (Though Owen and at times Amelia have been a huge help so the number of children really isn't a factor.)

I will say September has surprisingly moved rather quickly. My mom will be here in three days. It appears that Chris will be home in five days a little sooner than we thought two months ago. I'm due in five days also. I'm on maternity leave from teaching. Mostly because I have only a few hours  each day I can get something done and right now I am choosing dinner and general hygiene.  Owen has been really helpful making PB&Js and pour drinks for everyone. Him and Amelia both have been doing a great job hunting down diapers and wipes for me to change Simon's diapers.  They have even helped holding him down if necessary since he has decided to wrestle me almost everytime now.

I know it sounds pathetic,  but I am in complete survival mode...maybe a little past survival...maybe a little sad. But its working for us. 

I have adjusted everyone's sleep schedule since I can't sleep at night and functioning in the mornings is tough for me not pregnant. 

So really late nights and mornings for my crew. Again, its working for us.

I will say that has been one of the beauties of homeschooling...waking up late.  Owen has been home to help and I don't have to roll myself out of bed to get Owen on the bus. It's been nice to enjoy the three that are here before the fourth arrives.

Anyway...this is the first pregnancy I do not have that Group B Strep. Not sure that will make a huge difference, but I was a bit shocked. At my appointment on Monday I was dialated three centimeters and 50% effaced. A week later who knows where I am. My next appointment isn't until my due date...Friday. I have been having contractions for a while. Some are strong ish. Some are not. Sometimes they're close together. Sometimes they're not.

The midwife asked how large my biggest baby was before looking at my chart (10 lbs 11oz) because she was sure this one is pretty big. So I'm sure we have another monster still cooking :)

Well some pictures of the kids as always. And hopefully Becket will be here soon.

You're the best!

Merriment in the Mundane

Because I know all of you are itching to hear/read the latest on homeschooling, the army, parenting, homemaking, the kids, and or my current pregnancy, I'm here to deliver in no particular order!

Brace yourself for all the excitement of the mundane! 

So I had an OB appointment. Still pregnant. I will be 36 weeks as of tomorrow AND I'm measuring at 38 weeks. I take measurements with a grain of salt because baby's position can really alter the norm.  With that being said, I have big babies so I could be measuring right on time. With owen I told the doctor and my nurse that I thought he would be around 9.5 pounds and they gave me a crooked face and said "really?".  They though I was over estimating. Owen being my smallest came out at 10 pounds 6 ounces so...we were all kind of off. But, I also don't mind hoping that I might go sooner rather than later...but ya know,  he will come when he comes...

Head is down! Full head of hair. Apparently heartburn and hair growth are linked. Knowing that it's not a wives tale...I'm not surprised.  I got to see his cute nose! It kind of looks like Simon's nose from what I can tell in the grainy ultrasound picture.  But honestly they are hard to read, in my opinion. And for the record I think this midwife just likes looking at the babies and using the ultrasound machine. Because haven't had an ultrasound this late, and my last two appointments with her she had used it. Fine by me.

I went to Wal-Mart this evening to get some evening primrose oil. I am convinced that it is what has made my last two deliveries quick and easy! I love getting to the hospital and just having to push.  Anyway, when we left it was a bit cool and I told the kids it feels like fall. Halloween came up. Owen first said he wanted to be a wolf. Amelia wants to be "Mary with a red dress and blue veil with gold stars."  Then Owen turned around and said "I could be a saint. I can be St. Martin." Proud Catholic mom moment for sure. We could always use their costumes the next day for All Saints Day too. But costume ideas are still in the works.

Army...is the Army. Not much to say on that.

Homeschooling. Eh, pregnancy is slowing me down. But I anticipated that.  That's why we started earlier than I had originally planned. But what we are doing so far isn't too bad. But I kind of look forward to late fall when I have my energy back and get in a groove with Becket.  I got some plans for the kids that I think will be fun and educational if they are not complete disasters. As with most things I attempt it could go either way.

Parenting and homemaking...still not great at either...still a daily struggle...but everyone is alive so...a win?

BONUS! 

Amelia: "Mom, your shirt won't go down."
Me: ...
Amelia: "It's because your belly's too big."

Amelia: "Can you be like Daniel the Tiger's mom?" (It's a spin off cartoon from Mr. Roger's.)
Me: "What do you like about her?"
Amelia: "She's nice."
Me: "I'm not nice?"
Amelia: " You're only a little bit nice."

Owen: "How is Becket going to get out of your belly.?"
Me: ...
Amelia: "I think he's going to come out of her mouth."

Skip to the pictures.

Disclaimer: this post is...a waste of internet space. But there are random pictures of the kids at the end...so it might not be a complete waste.

This week has been something else.  For all my Facebook friends, I am truly sorry for all the grumpy, complaining statuses. They are so not fun to read, but I can't seem to help myself. I have had Braxton Hick contractions for over 24 hours...and though it's not active labor they were taking their toll. 

Simon is really starting to figure out his 2 year old tantrum.  He's always been a bit feisty, but this is new. We will make it though. It will get easier as he gets older, but in the thick of the moment it is hard to see it.

Chris will be home in 38...well almost 37 days at this point. I did a count down with the kids, more for the math purpose with school. I'm not sure if it's doing anything for them, but 37 seems so far away today...a few days ago 40 didn't seem so bad.

I am trying to school at least 4 days a week until Becket arrives. Last week we only got 3 days. Maybe we will make up that day this week. Owen is eager to learn more sight words. He's doing great! Amelia too. I think she will really soar next year with the program. Having them at different levels when they both need my attention is going to have its challenges, but we got some time to figure it out for us.

I know I mentioned it on Facebook,  but I'm not sure I posted here that Chris received his WOCS dates...August of 2015. Another year here at Fort Drum.  It's all good. We were hoping it would be sooner, but we can get a few thing accomplished without being rushed.

I guess that's all for now. Nothing much going on around here other than growing life and counting down the days. I will try to keep it more upbeat via social networking in the future. You guys don't need to be updated on every single one of my woes. :) Anyway, you guys are the best.  Always!

Future Simon

I hope you feel loved. I hope you feel valued. I hope that one day you will know I really tried to be the mother that you needed me be.

I rely on my instinct.  Every choice is not the best, but it's the only way I know how to mother. You and your siblings are very different with very different challenges.  For me, your temper and stubbornness is challenging.  I actually thought your older siblings had these traits until you proved me wrong.

The ladies at Target accused me of ignoring you. And maybe my disposition appeared that way, but you were on the forefront of my mind. I was doing what I could to remain calm while you loudly let the entire store know your hatred for the cart. Before we entered the store I knew you would be mad. I knew we would disturb other customers, but this trip to Target was essential not recreational like it often is. I was not engaging because you were safe, and I wanted to be loving once you were okay with sitting in the cart rather than becoming short fused with you, Amelia, and Owen. I didn't know what else to do (and the ladies offered nothing but their disapproval on my choice).  Carrying you or letting you run while trying to get some groceries just weren't an option.  And unfortunately,  your dad isn't here for me have shopped this evening once he was home from work.  Please know I was not ignoring you...I really felt like I had no other choice but to let you cry while I tried to get through the store quickly.

But Dear, I loath that scream.  Sometimes you do it at bedtime. I don't like crying it out as much as you...probably more.  Even with articles and advice from other mothers I have found nothing that works for us.  You know what you want, whether it's not sitting in a cart or not going to bed. It makes me angry and sad simultaneously. I'm angry because you don't seem to understand what I need from you.  And mostly sad because I feel like I am failing you terribly.

Daily, I question my parenting choices.  My questions for you lately are:  Did you stop nursing too soon? Should I have let you co-sleep longer?  Should I have done neither of those things that seemed so natural to me?  Is this tantrum going to taint our relationship in the future?

Your scream...is blood curdling when you are mad.  And the customers at Target got it first hand. You know what you want. That's wonderful! I hope I can foster that, but also teach you that you can't have it all...or at the very least, it things happen on God's time not ours.

Your stubbornness...often coincides with the blood curdling scream and leaves you angry for a long time, because I can't always give in. I hope I can foster this trait so you can easily see what battles need to be fought and you will stand your ground when it matters (standing my ground is not something I do well and many things really do matter).

But for me, it's a guessing game sometimes. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time...and never claimed to know.  I take life as it comes, and that includes parenting. I want you and your siblings to know that I love everything about each of you dearly...including your challenges.  And I will continue to do what I can to make sure you know you are valued and loved.

A Bit All Over the Place

One week down, seven to go. Overall I'm pretty happy with this first week without the strongest Lockhart. I'm really tired which is just proof of how much Chris does around here. But we kicked off our first week of school, attended Eucharistic Adoration followed by daily mass, speech, attended National Night Out, went to 10th CAB Org Day, had a friend stay the night, and went to a birthday party. Not too shabby if you ask me. I have actually been more active than I had intended. My original game plan was to just become a hermit and see everyone in October. Really I think keeping us moving has helped keep the days moving.

The week ahead isn't quite as packed, which is fine. We have a play date on Thursday, speech, mass on Friday (it's a holy day y'all), and a small birthday celebration that evening, plus school. Still busy, but maybe not as tiring.

Tomorrow I am taking all three kids to mass alone. I am sure I have done this before, but I'm pretty sure Simon was still in the car carrier so it wasn't too bad. We have done daily mass, but it's only about 20 minutes and less people. We will see how tomorrow goes. Sanctification,  right?

We still haven't heard anything about WOCS or flight school. It's been three weeks, Army! I'm impatient, and I'm afraid to pray for patience since it will likely result in more waiting. Again we will survive.

Before I wrap up this really random, boring post...how much maintenance is a beta fish? And I am asking this as someone who really wants to do NOTHING to care for a pet. I'm sorry, I'm not an animal lover. Don't get me wrong, I am not a supporter of torturing animals...I'm just not a good pet owner.  I barely meet the basic needs of my kids some days.  Anyway...Owen desperately wants a pet. The kid is trying to catch flies and ants to claim as pets. If a beta isn't too much work I would consider getting him one...maybe.  I do think it would be good for the kids to have a pet to take care of.  I am genuinely asking...if I forget to have Owen feed the fish will it die? Do I have to clean the tank/bowl? Rereading this paragraph I sound so whiny...sorry...maybe I should let him keep catching flies.

Random, unrelated pictures of the kids.

As always, if you made it to the end...treat yourself to a cookie or pie or wine. :)