Hello, Hello! One week later. I had started writing a post this week titled Why do I suck at life? I haven't deleted it, but I doubt I will ever post it. It was self-deprecating as the title might lead you to believe. I mean there was some, but as negative and it could be our has been in the past. It was just me trying to figure out way very normal tasks for most people is so difficult for me to manage. Anyway, it's more boring than normal so I spared you. You're welcome.
I am getting my mo-jo back in terms of working out. Like most new adventures or life style changes or whatever you want to call it I have a 3 month expiration date. Many like to call it burn out, I call it laziness. There are lots of factor in play here, but they are excuses or easy outs. I pushed through October, and I'm starting to rid my mind of the negative thoughts I was having. Gracey has been awesome at keeping things positive to help me out of my mental rut.
Leave was approved y'all!!!! This little Lockhart clan will be making its way down to NC for Thanksgiving. Actually, we will be traveling on Thanksgiving because they are having Chris run a range during Thanksgiving block leave because "no one was going to take leave"....um we were. Oh well, it stinks to be traveling on Thanksgiving, but we will be there the whole next week as well. Stoked! We haven't left NY since Thanksgiving last year. And we have only seen Chris's parents when they visited in July.
So we have been buying thing here and there for Christmas. Everything that we have bought has been secondhand with the exception of some dirt cheap clearance I pounced on. We don't buy our kids stuff throughout the year. There have been a few birthdays we haven't bought them gifts, but Christmas we "do it up"...kinda. We wrap EVERYTHING. On Christmas Eve there is NOTHING under the tree. Not even the gift that have been sent from family. Christmas morning the room is full of presents. Owen has reached an age that Christmas is so much fun. Last year was pretty great. And Amelia is so much more aware of things than Owen was at 3. We are already talking about Jesus' birthday. I think I am going to make a birthday cake. Or maybe fun fetti pancakes. We will come up with something.
Our FRG organized a family game night/movie night thing this evening. I had a great time. The kids had a great time. I didn't have to cook dinner. I met some new people. Overall, I really great evening. I love games. I think I get that from my dad. Well, Chris creamed me at Yahtzee this evening. Twice.
Chris is juggling so much lately. I feel for him. Not only is he working hard and helpful at home, but he is finishing up school too. On the bright side, if everything works out like we hope (which for us rarely does) he will be done January 2015. Just over a year isn't too bad. Each term is 9 weeks so not too bad. I will be almost as glad as him that it is over. As long as life/the Army doesn't get too crazy then after a year.
I'm here to rant another day! Lucky you ;) The past week has been overall pretty great. Nothing overly exciting, but nothing completely horrible. I'm sure going to confession is the reason for the peace I have while dealing with life. I love life, but I kinda suck at it...cough, cough...why I need to embrace confession more often. I really do wish I had someone with me all day long saying..."get off your butt and start the dish washer."..."No, you do not want to eat that."...."And no, you do not need to buy that."..."Yes, take a shower, good choice." Most days I really think I need that guidance. But, since that is probably NOT going to happen. I will continue to pray, stumble through, and try to do better.
I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS! From Columbus Day to Martin Luther King Jr. Day is my FAVORITE time of year. I love the smells, the food, the weather, the feeling, the clothing, the music, the colors, the festivities, the atmosphere...ALL OF IT! My kids are now at an age that they are aware, and are excited too. Really, from here on out, this time of year can always be...magical.
Hello four day weekend!!! Friday through Monday Chris is off. Today, the kids went to school, I went to CrossFit, and we made a quick trip to the store for some odds and ends. Other than church we plan on staying locked in our house all weekend. Oh, I can't wait. I'm hoping we can do some purging...I have hoarding tendencies so this house is always in need of purging...but if we only sit around all weekend that's ok too.
If you read my blog then we are probably friends on Facebook too. Did you see my new hair cut? Katie did a great job, huh!?! Seriously, I haven't had my hair cut in a year! Not even a trim. I didn't measure how much was cut off, but I used a tape measure to get an estimation. Approximately 12 inches...give or take.
My hair had NEVER been this long.
If may hair gets that long again just sneak attack me and cut it off. I'm sure my hair doing abilities are not going to improve in this life time. Short hair is more manageable, more put together, less homely, and looks healthier. I LOVE it! I might even go shorter next time. Now I just need my eyebrows shaped and I just might be able to convince people that I do kind of care about my appearance. I do care...but I am victim of the Mom's appearance takes the back seat because it's one less thing to think about.
Owen keeps asking for a dog...not going to happen. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic. Not the throat closing up allergic. Just a runny nose and itchy eyes allergic. I'm like that with cats too. Nothing a little bit of Benedryl can't take care of, but NO. I could list all the reasons, but I won't bother. Maybe a fish...but fish freak me out so maybe not.
I mentioned last week that I am praying for my family right now...our future is really foggy. The fog is lifting...sort of...slowly. I'm still asking for prayers. We are saying a rosary every evening at 10pm EST. If you could say one too every once in a while at the same time with us it would be great!
So, I went to confession yesterday. Yeah... I'm not sure if I'm allowed to pick favorites when it come to the Holy Sacraments, but I do. And confession is not my favorite. Actually, it could very well be my least favorite. Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick are two that I have not received. Holy Orders I will never receive since I'm not a man and all. And, Anointing of the Sick...I will ask for it when I need it. I don't want to get sick, but it's likely I will need it someday. So I guess I'm not looking forward to that Sacrament like I am looking forward to Simon's Baptism.
Anyway, Baptism, Communion, Confirmation, and Marriage are wonderful celebrations. I am no theologian. Nor am a I a strong voice for my faith. I don't have eloquent words or profound insight to give you as to why these Sacraments are so amazing and so, so necessary for all of us. But I love them. Confession on the other hand. not so much love. Though, I understand the purpose and the need for regular Reconciliation.
This was the first time I truly examined my conscience. In the past I would wing it in the confessional. Maybe a little mental prep as I stood in line during the Lenten Reconciliation service, but not a true examination. This was the first time I really used the 10 Commandments and examined myself. It was revealing. I knew I was a sinner...But man am I a SINNER. I had to write them down....pages! Yea...that "Catholic Guilt" thang.
Confession is hard. It is hard to examine my conscience. It is hard to
realize how often I sin. It is hard to not be overly scrupulous. It is hard to take ownership of those sins. It
it hard to ask for forgiveness. It is hard to try not to do it again.
It is sometimes hard to be forgiven, and yet it is
so easy for God to forgive. I just have to ask for His forgiveness.
I know being absolved of my sins regularly makes the celebrations of the other Holy Sacraments, like the Holy Eucharist, so much better and fulfilling and the celebration that much richer. And being cleansed of my sins lightens my mental/emotional/physical load so I can nurture my relationship with God, my husband, and my children. I know how great it feels when that load has been divinely lifted. I even know that I will not be judged or ridiculed or mocked for my many, many, many, short comings, but I still find confession hard.
I'm not sure what my point is. I never really have a point, do I? I'm glad I went. I am going to try to go more regularly. And hopefully, I can develop a deep love for this precious Sacrament that God has given us.
We made it through Birthday Week! Amelia is 3. Simon is 1. (And Owen is still 4...until March at least). In between potty breaks, laundry, and cooking I have fleeting thoughts of how our family has changed in the past 5 years. It baffles me really. Even though there was a time when all three of our kids didn't exist, it's hard to remember that time. I don't know quite how to say what I mean. Having 3 kids is normal. To think about life when we only had 1 or 2 though it did exist and was normal seems not normal.
Ok, moving on. Maybe it's the time or maybe it's my brain teetering on the edge of sugar coma, but that first take of mine was just too much. Anyway...Halloween! Here in Northern New York has been pretty in the forties for the past several days. Well, temps creeped up close to sixty! However, it came at a wet, rainy price. It worked out ok, but the it was a bit touch and go for the first hour of trick or treating.
Full discloser. I prefer homemade costumes to store bought ones. Actually, it's not so homemade vs. store bought. I just don't want to run into several other kids with the same super hero costume. So last year when Owen despreately want to be a Power Ranger I was a little bummed. I was a little surprise at how cute I thought he was. I mean, he's always cute. I was just shocked that I was excited to see him dressed up as his favorite character. I still prefer a less popular costumes. Chris and I fully admit that we plugged this Jack Frost costume. We had grand plans that we didn't fully execute. I know for me it was fear of "messing it up". Anyway, it's hard to see, but there is frost on the hoodie and Chris made the staff. I am happy with how it turned out.
Ready for her school parade.
I bought this monster costume last year after Halloween. This is an example of a store bought costume that I prefer. I think it's adorable and she is less likely to cross paths with another kid wearing the same costume (though it is possible). She actually only wore this to her birthday party and her Halloween parade. For actual trick or treating she chose to be Snow White. And yes she was beyond precious. And yes we ran into other Snow Whites. And no it was not the end of the world. And YES I am neurotic and totally over-thinking Halloween costumes for these kids.
Simon was Frankenstein. I had saved this from Owen's first Halloween. And he was just a cute as his brother was four years ago.
Crossfit update. So if you know me a little you about know my love for food and doing a whole lot of nothing. Any time I do anything health related I am good for 3 months...Then I'm not. So I hit 3 months and mentally I was/am/was having a hard time. I didn't/don't/didn't want to do it any longer. CrossFit is great. Gracey is GREAT. My problem is ME. I let Gracey know that mentally I'm struggling just getting to the gym. Once I'm there is not the problem. So things seem to be turning around. I had a great week last week at the gym. The WODs were my type of WODs....Then this week happened. I haven't been at all this week! CWOC, Halloween festivities for the kids, All Saints Day activities and mass have clashed with gym hours. I actually felt/feel/felt like I am coming out of this mental sump. So I hope this unexpected week off does not hinder the up swing of this slump I was/am/was in.
Back to Halloween for a minute. So I had plans with my friend to take the kids trick or treating. We did. Our neighborhood was difficult. First, it was hard to see if porch lights were on because of how the houses and garages are laid out. And more importantly, only a few people were handing out candy. So we drove to another neighborhood. It was easier to see porch lights and there were more porch lights lit. So I parked the car leave the hazard lights on, and move the car as needed. Well, my van died.
I am looking forward to November!!!! The hope is to be in NC for Thanksgiving. As always, we are still waiting on leave approval, and nothing major popping up. We haven't left New York since November last year. We have only left Watertown once and that was to Niagara when my in-laws visited this summer. I'm looking forward to seeing our family.
I am praying for our family right now, and I am asking for prayers if you will. Without going into tons of details and what if scenarios, it is unclear which direction we are suppose to go. I know where I want us to go, and I hope that is where we are headed. But I don't know if that is truly what's in store for our family. So yea, if you can help out with this vague prayer request it would be appreciated. Sincerely appreciated!