Not feeling it.

I'm not feeling it today.  I'm not feeling it most days.  For two week now I feel like we have been non stop.  I know it's from adding CrossFit to our mornings.  Add a couple of appointments, play-dates, and general errands one's time is eaten up quick.

The house is in a whole new level a disarray.  The laundry, both clean and dirty, has taken over.  I'm so so so SO happy to have our new washer and dryer.  They are larger than our rickety old set so I can clean more clothes at once!!!  That also means I have to fold more clothes at once!  I have three overflowing baskets of unfolded clothes that I keep digging through. I have had the goal every day to get something accomplished and to regain the order like we use to kind of have.  And everyday I feel like I'm just trying to survive.   Feeding, diaper changes, throwing a towel on the newest spill, and ignoring the crash of toys that have been spilled to the floor.

I have been in this so called survival mode for quite some time.  I'm starting to think that I'm no longer surviving, but it's my new norm.  I lived there for all of Simon's pregnancy.  Of course I had a newborn and to recover and to adjusting to having three kids.  I will give myself a little bit of wiggle room here, but in the end these things didn't take too long. 

I long to have a system in place that is functional and teachable.  Owen and Amelia can be given household responsibilities and be expected to complete them.  I have found many lists on the trusty (and not so trusty) internet with age appropriate household contributions.  The problem for me is getting this system in place.  Any attempt I have made ended as soon as it started or was never finished and ended in a bigger mess.  I don't have the skills that can see chaos and create order. It's a vicious circle. 

I'm not sure what my point is really.  My plan was not to be a Debbie Downer.  I know I have complained to about abilities before.  I guess I could ask for some prayers.  I really want to improve.  I love being a wife and mother, but I want to be better...MUCH better at it.  And if we decide to homeschool these are skills that need to surface. 

Anyway, sorry for you time.  I will make a huge effort tomorrow to do better...here and at home.

Night interwebs!


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