Ramblings: Confession

So, I went to confession yesterday.  Yeah...  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to pick favorites when it come to the Holy Sacraments, but I do.  And confession is not my favorite.  Actually, it could very well be my least favorite.  Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick are two that I have not received.  Holy Orders I will never receive since I'm not a man and all.  And, Anointing of the Sick...I will ask for it when I need it.  I don't want to get sick, but it's likely I will need it someday.  So I guess I'm not looking forward to that Sacrament like I am looking forward to Simon's Baptism.

Anyway, Baptism, Communion, Confirmation, and Marriage are wonderful celebrations.  I am no theologian.  Nor am a I a strong voice for my faith.  I don't have eloquent words or profound insight to give you as to why these Sacraments are so amazing and so, so necessary for all of us.   But I love them.  Confession on the other hand. not so much love.  Though, I understand the purpose and the need for regular Reconciliation.

This was the first time I truly examined my conscience.  In the past I would wing it in the confessional.  Maybe a little mental prep as I stood in line during the Lenten Reconciliation service, but not a true examination.  This was the first time I really used the 10 Commandments and examined myself.  It was revealing.  I knew I was a sinner...But man am I a SINNER.  I had to write them down....pages!  Yea...that "Catholic Guilt" thang. 

Confession is hard.  It is hard to examine my conscience.  It is hard to realize how often I sin.  It is hard to not be overly scrupulous.  It is hard to take ownership of those sins.  It it hard to ask for forgiveness.  It is hard to try not to do it again.  It is sometimes hard to be forgiven, and yet it is so easy for God to forgive.  I just have to ask for His forgiveness.

I know being absolved of my sins regularly makes the celebrations of the other Holy Sacraments, like the Holy Eucharist, so much better and fulfilling and the celebration that much richer.  And being cleansed of my sins lightens my mental/emotional/physical load so I can nurture my relationship with God, my husband, and my children.  I know how great it feels when that load has been divinely lifted.  I even know that I will not be judged or ridiculed or mocked for my many, many, many, short comings, but I still find confession hard. 

I'm not sure what my point is.  I never really have a point, do I?  I'm glad I went.  I am going to try to go more regularly.  And hopefully, I can develop a deep love for this precious Sacrament that God has given us.

Day 7 and I'm out!

Goodness me, like I said yesterday the 7 Day 7 Post challenge was kinda tough.  Check out the Archives to the right if you missed the posts earlier this week.  But after today, I think I will give you guys a break for a few days.  I am going to put some of my attention back into Clitherow's for a little bit and work on the birth stories for Amelia and Simon.

On to today's shenanigans!

11am Mass should not be such a challenge to get out the door.  But Chris and I always stay up a little to late or a kid or two will keep us up...*cough, Simon, cough*.  So at 10:30 Everyone still in their jammies we opted for 5:15 mass out in town.  Though I like the later time, the kids seem to behave so much better in the morning.  We have raised our exception of good behavior at church based on this post by CatholicMom.com .   The big kids are have their good days and bad days, but we can see an overall improvement.  The biggest thing is we expect them not only to be quiet but sit properly and or participate.  I know it's hard on my big kids right now since we didn't establish these expectations from the beginning, but we are proud of their progress over the past two months. So those days when they wallow around in the pew, we are often stopped by a parishioner that reassures us that our kids are well behaved. It makes me wonder if we (Chris and I) are a bigger distraction that the kids.  As the big kids have more practice and begin to set the example for any younger siblings they may have I think Mass will become easier.  Or at least I hope.  In the mean time, I think I may make the ring of cards suggested on Catholic Mom.

Today, before Mass we took a turn at the thrift shop.  We got Megablocs, 10 kids books, a bucket of play kitchen accessories, Little Tikes piano, Pampered Chef pineapple core, a mirror for Simon's car seat, Dinosaur Train board game, kids hat rack, a Weeble Wobble crank toy, an action figure, and a small toy keyboard all for $14.56.  Most of these are Christmas gifts.  Though I'm hoping Owen won't remember.  We will have to see.  I was pretty happy with their toy selection today.

Well here are some funny quotes from my kids today.  Maybe you needed to be there, but they keep me laughing.

Owen: "I want to show you my moves, Daddy."
Wearing nothing but a helmet, roller skates, and his Mass Kit that looks like a man bag,  Owen attempts a grand leap!

Amelia: "We're going to the 'whore's' house."
Talking about the fifty cent riding horse at KMart.

After 'peace be with you' at Mass quite loud.
Amelia: "We done now?"

Thanks for joining me this past week.  I hope my ramblings weren't to painful ;)

Until next time peeps!

Brainstorming

Like most thinks I do I'm doing this link up on a whim.  I bet some bloggers are taking the opportunity to address ideas they have been meaning to post about and haven't gotten around to it, what ever the reason may be.  Not me.  So this post I will brainstorm about some ideas that may come into fruition during this challenge. Here we go.

• Homeschooling - Chris and I have been talking about the possibility of homeschooling for about a year. We are researching and praying about if this is the best course of action for our family. 
• MY HOUSE - It's a mess.  And I know lots of people say their house is a mess, but I am confident that their house does not compare to the wreckage we are currently living in.  I am going to try and get it out of risk of being condemned this week.  Not going to lie, for me it's an overwhelming feat.  I have read many blogs about simple ways to keep a tidy home.  In the end I'm just lazy. Pathetic! Anyway back to the point.  I could do before and after pictures.  I'm not sure how Chris would feel about me showcasing our heap we call a home.  And I am sure I will only post if I manage to have beautiful after pictures.  I can't have you judging to hard ;)
• Cry rooms - Kendra over at Catholic All Year is doing a link up about cry rooms at Mass.  
• Quotes - My kids are saying some of the funniest things. Of course they won't say anything funny this week since if I choose to use this as a possible post.
• Crossfit - I could whine
• Craft - I could do a project.
• Chris - I could devote a post to his awesomeness.
• Birth stories - I do want to write down my kids birth stories.  I could do that. Make a series or something.
• Recipe - Try something new or share something I make regularly.  I won't share hot dogs.  I hate to say but they are a staple here in the Land of Lockhart. But it may not make a very interesting post. 

I think I am getting somewhere.  If you're still reading...WOW.  I thought you would be sleeping. Go treat yourself to a donut.  It was well earned. Thanks for being part of this mini brainstorming session. 

Joining another link up.

Ok guys. Jennifer Fulwiler is hosting a 7 Posts in 7 Days: An epic blogging challenge. I'm linking up. Why not? She made some excellent points about what it can do for you as a blog writer. I imagine these points being completely legit and valid if you're not me. I keep the expectations low and the standards lower around here.

Here are her point with my commentary on how it relates to me as a faux blogger.

"Your readers want to hear from you." As a reader, yes this is completely true. I am constantly checking my Bloglovin feed to see if there is a new post from my fave blogs. Some of these blogs being Conversion Diary, Catholic All Year, Camp Patton, Daft Crafts, Snuggle Up with a Dish from Karma, and many MANY more. As a writer I'm not as confident that is the case. I'm not selling you my reader short, but I'm pretty sure my audience is predominantly friends and family keeping tabs on us Lockharts when I post a link to Facebook.  No shame there AT ALL, that is the purpose of this blog.  I'm just guessing that is how this point relates to me and this blog.  (She is SO right in terms of it relating to her blog, just sayin'.  Smart lady!) So yes you're here, you're interested, but I imagine you aren't  returning daily to see if you may have missed my most recent post. I am aware I am not documenting some great, profound, relatable, inspiring, or even funny...experiences. Ok, maybe relatable at times and I try to be funny.  I'm not sure if it always comes across.

"It'll help you overcome perfectionism." Yea, I am not as much a perfectionist as much as a person who dwells on the flaws. So if I have something to share its often posted within an hour or less depending on how wordy I am.  And I go back several times and make small edits because I used the wrong "your" or something.  I am terrible at proof reading. I am willing to bet that authors of blogs I mentioned above have several ideas that they draft and craft into the eloquent ideas, opinions, and talents that they wish to share. Not here folks. I fly by the seat of my pants. I take weeks even months in between posts (as many of you well know) just to give you an update that nothing much has changed. PLUS, we ALL have suffered through my grammatical errors, poor word choices, and the everyday typo....sooo I don't think that perfectionism is a flaw here...it probably should be saut out as virtue for blog sake.

"It'll find your blogging groove."  I'll take it! I might benefit from this.  The Land of Lockhart blog is an eclectic collection of my personal ramblings and crappy attempt to be even kinda cool. I do want to keep this blog more current than I have in the past. The original purpose is to keep my friends and family up to date with us Lockharts. And that still is the purpose.  I feel so disconnected from family and friends.  And I have these three AWESOME humans worthy of every bit of oohing and awing that you have to give.  (4 if you count Chris. He definitely earns some oohing and awing too!!)  So social media like this blog, Facebook, or Instagram is the best platform I can think of to showcase Owen, Amelia, Simon...And Chris ;)

With all that said.  Maybe this challenge will help me expand my audience, provide more substance on this blog, and find my groove.  Then maybe not.  We all know about my great plans and zero outcome.  But whatever...it'll be fun, I think!  So if you have a po-dunky (yea, new word. It'll catch on like "fetch" from Mean Girls) blog or a super duper awesome blog like Jennifer's then you should link up to the 7 posts in 7 days: a epic blogging challenge.  And if you are the writer of a super duper awesome blog, how did you get here? And I can't believe you're still reading this mess!

Until tomorrow suckers! I hope you enjoy the ramblings I come up with in the next 7 days :)